Fruit Bats vs. Vampire Bats - Chapter Two: "Know Thine Enemy."

 

"I pity the impudent soul."

The first thing I noticed when I came across Sir Pissed Off was its size - it was much larger than any bat I had ever seen. And naturally the very first thing that came to mind was, "Bigger bat = bigger, funnier smile! YEAH! =D =D =D!"

No. I was not greeted with a smile. Panick struck... and then... WHACK! Monsieur Furieux was the one to get struck. By a wooden shaft. Its wing was broken, and since I did not have a camera at my disposal, Sir Angry was then placed inside a jar.

In case you haven't noticed... it's dead. Completely dead. Along with having to charge the battery, I couldn't find the camera itself. And I might have, maybe... accidentaly left the jar in which the bat was placed out in the sun during that time. But that wasn't my fault! ...The sun wasn't there at the time I left it. >_>

 Sorry about the chromatic abberration. Stupid pocket camera.

 As you can see, the fact that it's dead has no bearing whatsoever on it being as pissed off as ever. Creeps me out sometimes.

So what happened to the bat? Well, it's a real shame the camera wasn't around... a damn shame. We placed it into your everyday empty can of coffee, poured some alcohol in and set it on fire. The next morning I turned the can upside down to empty its remains, and it was actually pretty cool. Its entire carcass turned into nothing but ash, some of which was recognizable, such as a portion of its left wing. I grabbed it, softly grinded it between my fingers and watched as it broke down into fine dust and flew off into the breeze.

...

*reminisces*

...

  

So there you have it. Quite a remarkeable coincidence. What easier way could there be to tell fruit bats and vampire bats apart?

Fruit Bats vs. Vampire Bats - Chapter One: "Don’t worry, be happy."

Note: Clicky Clicky on image thumbnails to view their original size.

There are certain bizarre coincidences in life that make you stop, take a moment to process the situation, and with a bright and happy smile say "Wow, that's... remarkable." Coincidences that not everyone has the fortune to stumble upon (literally). Coincidences that perhaps require a personal, face to face experience in order to fully understand and appreciate its splendor and hilarity.

Such is the case with fruit/insect bats and vampire bats. One lives a content, innocent life by eating all of the wonderous and delicious fruit our planet has to offer (as well as insects, but that's cool too! I used to do that when I was kid! Or so I'm told.) While the other lives a life of misery, anger, and anguish by draining and feeding off the blood of the innocent – be it human or otherwise (well, not ALL innocent, but, you know, drinking blood isn't a particularly innocent thing to do. In general).

Words cannot express the delight of beholding such moments with your own eyes, which is why I've complied several pictures. Hope you enjoy:

This is our place. Overlooking the beach, it provides an attractive view, which is why we decided to host monthly wedding parties.

Our bamboo structure, which we built ourselves, and where the actual wedding parties take place.

As you can imagine, tidying this place up isn't easy, and you find all sorts of creepy bugs (the worst of which are large spiders).

Upstairs

"We don't go to Ravenholm..."

The Attic

I hate this place. I really hate it. There's no light up here so I have to use a flashlight. It's hot, damp, and creepy. Thing is, there are occasional pipe bursts, roof cracks and whatnot that need to be fixed. And it's usually a different story everytime I come up here.

Today's entry will feature bats - both fruit and vampire, and the rather startling difference between the two species. Looky, looky:

Already you can see his smile beginning to crack...

As his smile began to shine through, I wiggled my right index finger just in front of his nose so as to make it clear that I am of no harm to him and his brethren.

He immediately understood.

  It was as though I could read his mind: "Ah, at last a human who has not confused me for one of those retched, blood-sucking fiends. We changed the means in which we express ourselves long ago. We now proudly boast a countenance of joy and euphoria. It has helped greatly in reducing casualties."

"Hey, mang, iz all ghud! We jus' passin' through, mang! Check out dis smile! We ain't want no trouble, homie."

They sure do love to smile, don't they? We started to get to know each other, sharing stories on the usual happenings of our everyday lives, which is when I thought I might throw a few jokes to see how he reacts.

I had a difficult time stifling my own laughter, gasping for air every two seconds. Likewise, the bat could hardly contain himself...and I hadn't even finished my joke.

"So then- HHHHHHHHHAAAAAHAH! aahaaaah...hah...- then the rabbi... the rabbi says... he says..."

*GASP*

"He says... 'Not so good when my wife find ouwt!'"

Lawlz

Concerned at the possibility of death by laughter, I felt it was time to bid he and his brethren adieu. And off they flew. During broad daylight. But I'm sure they're fine.

Good times, but they wouldn't last. Nothing could have prepared me for the horror I encountered a few months later... (Well... actually it was a few months earlier, but for the sake of dramatic reading effect I'm going to lie. Because it's more dramatic. And that's cool.)

Chapter two will posted shortly.